On Monday, the Spring 2014 term at Rollins College officially starts. I will attend my very first MLS class on Wednesday, January 15th.

I’m nervous. Anxious. Excited. Prepared.

I’ve been waiting for this day since the moment I exited the stage from my BFA graduation ceremony. In many ways, I feel like most of the steps I’ve taken in the last three years have been in sole preparation for this moment. Every assignment, every stressful deadline, was leading me to this program, this school, and this dream.

I feel like I’m standing at the door to my future.

The struggle with a door is that it often means you’re leaving one room (or, in my case, an emotional and cognitive place) for another. I definitely feel that’s where I’m at right now.

I’m standing on the precipice, about to give up one life for another. I know that this is a positive change. I know that I am going to be a better person as a result of it. I know that all of the sacrifices I will make and the stresses I will encounter will all lead me to a better place, an improved version of myself. I’m ready for it. I’m yearning for it. But that doesn’t make it any less scary.

Change is difficult. Growth is hard.

There isn’t an easy button to push when it comes to the evolution of your life and I recognize I’m going to struggle more often than I float. I guess I just need to trust in the fact that I deserve to be happy, I deserve to have a dream, and I am capable of seeing it through. Most of my anxiety revolves around self-doubt, insecurity, and comfort with the familiar. Rollins is all new to me. It’s a new location, a new degree, new peers and instructors. There is nothing familiar or comfortable about Rollins; perhaps that’s why I’m so drawn to it. I’m ready to mature, immerse myself in the arts, and lucubrate among like-minded classmates. I’m ready to be accepted, nurtured, loved, and appreciated for what I bring to the table, both academically and as a person in a new community.

I deserve this. I’ve earned this. I’m going to see it through.

Optimistic for a good first week of class,

~ Victoria Elizabeth