Image source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/dadoodle/6999296936/

The Floridian rain gets me down and produces a sense of melancholy, a rare acrimony I do not normally possess. I never know what to do with these emotions, as I so rarely feel them.

Do I find a quiet room and cry?

Do I look up a therapist on Google and pay a lunchtime visit? What would I even talk about?

“Sorry, doc, the weather gets me down. If I don’t see the sun, I get a little… weepy. Got any pills for that?”

Hmmmmm.

Opting to save myself a copay and a poor psychologist an hour of his life, I decided to channel my peculiar emotions into a poem of sadness and regret. Please enjoy.

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The One I Lost

To the one I lost,

I’m sorry.

 

A decision made,

in haste,

fear,

ignorance,

greed,

took you away from me.

 

I didn’t know

that you were my world,

my life,

link in the chain

I wasn’t supposed to sever.

 

I missed your first soccer game

but you didn’t cry.

 

My little Gemini,

your knees

skimmed on concrete,

scabs itching

but never a complaint.

 

not a word

when I failed

to be there as your

tiny socked feet

found their grip on dog hair and scratched wood.

 

Diapers unchanged,

belly unkissed,

ten perfect little piggies

never to go

wee-wee-wee!

all the way home.

 

I never deserved

your love

perfect, innocent and pure

but you gave it.

 

I felt you inside me,

warmth,

a walnut

resting in my

womb.

 

To the one I lost,

because I didn’t know

how much I needed

you.

 

Aren’t you proud

your mother

isn’t

a statistic,

serving fast food,

to the parents of your friends?

 

Just another college drop-out?

Penniless?

Would you have been…

ashamed?

 

Would we have had

anything?

nothing?

 

I would’ve had

you.

 

To the one I lost,

I’m sorry.

 

When I gave your life

sacrifice

for mine,

this…

freedom?

 

How could I have known

I’d never

truly

be free without your

weight

in my arms?

 

****************************

 

Optimistic for a beautiful, sunshine-filled day tomorrow – or else the meteorologist is in for a beat-down. 🙂

~ Victoria Elizabeth